May 23, 2010 THE UNFINISHED IMAGE
Most members of the parish are aware of a recent tragic death of Jerry Mikkelson. It was caused by a car accident. Jerry left many bereaving family members behind, including a son and a daughter. Not long after the funeral I read a quote from Robert Fulghum, an American essayist.
I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge –
Myth is more potent than history –
Dreams are more powerful than facts –
Hope always triumphs over experience –
Laughter is the cure for grief –
Love is stronger than death.
The quote is a strong antidote to grief and loneliness. It is a very sophisticated statement. Towards the end of Jerry’s funeral, I read to the assembly of family and friends another quote. It was written by his daughter Maddie, a third grader.
Dear Daddy, I miss you so much and I wish I could walk right over to you and give you a big, big, big, bear hug and give you a smooch! I never could forget that I am your #1 girl and have you always take me on bike rides in the park and every year me and mommy will take a bike ride on your Birth Day to always remember what a great daddy you are!
When Maddie was 3 or 4 years old she wanted to give her father a gift. She went into the back yard and selected a pebble. She gave it to him. He swore to keep it in his pocket the rest of his life. Maddie’s letter continues.
Mommy and I are getting so many photos of you and me and I get the pebble that I gave you when I was 2, 3 or 4, and you never took it out of your pocket. I hope you never forget to be with me and I hope you know that I never will forget you and I love you and I always will love you. Maddie Mae.
Writing a message to someone we have lost is healing; telling the story of our grief is healing; sharing our love for the deceased with others is healing. Maddie’s letter was healing for her and all who heard it. Maddie placed another pebble in her father’s casket. She keeps the original in her pocket!