March 16, 2008 THE UNFINISHED IMAGE
They didn’t talk about it as much in those days. My parents and I were visiting my two brothers and their wives at a time when both of them served in the Philippines. One was with the US Navy, the other with the State Department. It was after a breakfast which included outstanding native pineapple. I don’t remember how the conversation came up. Some neighbor, I suppose, had suffered a miscarriage. “Mom, did you ever have a miscarriage?” I asked. To my great surprise, she answered that she had, soon after the birth of my oldest brother. Dad added that it was very difficult for him at the time. Well, four other children, all sons, followed. We’d never thought to ask before. They never thought to tell.
Last year a member of the parish had a miscarriage. It was very difficult for both the parents. When I learned of it, I traveled to their home to give them a blessing of the Church. It’s a fine blessing. “Compassionate God, soothe the hearts of N. and N., and grant that through the prayers of Mary, who grieved by the cross of her Son, you may enlighten their faith, give hope to their hearts, and peace to their lives.” It gave them great comfort.
Later she wrote to me. “This has been a difficult time for us, and I have found myself feeling hopeless and depressed at times. From the moment that these babies were even a vision in our hearts, we already had hopes and dreams for them. We were also grateful that the Church offers such a nice blessing. Thanks also for letting us know about the memorial the diocese has for children whose life was so very short. I know that I don’t have all the answers, but I would like to offer my help if you ever have anyone who needs a friend to talk to or just to hold someone’s hand. I am not sure I understand why this happens, but I know without God’s help I wouldn’t have the strength to deal with this. Thank you for your help.”
I don’t know why these things happen either. But I do know that I’m glad I had that conversation around the breakfast table so many years ago with my parents. I wish that the blessing of the Church had been available to them in their time of need.